The Hardest Part of the Job.

Others may think that the hardest part of my job is coming up with fun and exciting activities to help my students learn. Some might think it’s summoning up the patience to deal with twelve toddlers. For me, however, the hardest part of the job is having to say goodbye to the kids who become almost like mine for ten months. It is the one part of the job that no matter how hard I try, or how long I’ve been doing it, that just doesn’t get any easier. And up to this day, I don’t know how to make it better.

Today my heart aches because I had to bid farewell to a sweet little girl who made my year back from semi-retirement an immense pleasure. In as much as we teachers would like to claim we do not have favorites, I think almost all of us can admit that no matter how hard we try, we can’t help but have them. Maybe it’s because the child reminds us of ourselves or someone we love, or maybe perhaps they simply are more endearing. Sometimes for me it’s the fact that they have a special story or parents who are equally lovable. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that there is a special bond formed between teacher and student in the course of a school year. Yes, that little girl I had to say goodbye to was one of those kids who found their way to a corner of my heart and burrowed themselves deep in it’s recesses that it’s taking a lot of effort to dig her out of there.

To be honest, she was not one of those kids who I immediately enjoyed. At first, I couldn’t see why the other teachers were so fond of her. Actually, she was somewhat of a challenge at first because she was so clingy to her nanny and she would not talk to me at all, not even to say hi to me when she’d come to school. But little by little, she began to adjust to me and before I knew it, she no longer cried for yaya. Given my hectic schedule, there were days when my partner in class had to take over and I’d be away but she’d always tell me ‘Cara was asking about you today’. As cheesy as it may sound, she was definitely a bright ray of sunshine that warmed my heart in the last year.

In about two weeks, another school year will start, without my little miss sunshine, but with the bright promise that I’ll have a new set of kids who will work their magic with me. But for now, I just have to stand back and say my heart aches. Despite this immense sadness in my heart and knowing that next year I will go through this feeling again, I can’t help but say that a bigger part of me is looking forward to what lies ahead.

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